I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
