I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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