We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
