jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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