Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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