I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
