My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
