I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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