i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
