I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
porn star boner night. come get it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
