this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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