What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
