i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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