what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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