You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
