they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
