So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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