Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
