my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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