hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
