Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize