He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
