I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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