yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
