laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
