my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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