Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
