Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
