is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
