Pappa wants mamma naked
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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