Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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