He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
