Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize