now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
