I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
