Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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