Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
