i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can't turn off my feet"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
