.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
