sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
