No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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