girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
