Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
