She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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