I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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