I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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