If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
