It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
