Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
