You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
