We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
