Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
