You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
