So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
