Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
