their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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