just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
