I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
