About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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