woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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