Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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