I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize