You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
