But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Randomize
